Friday, February 18, 2011

A little faith and hope

I had complained... well more lamented than complained about my lack of human interaction. What I failed to mention is the outpouring of help I've received in the seven to eight days I've been on the lam from Cell Block C. Lose a job, post a blog entry and make a few dozen phone calls and you'll be amazed at how many responses you get. Everyone understands. Others have been in the same boat. I'm told there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's not all doom and gloom, which is sometimes hard to see when you think you're mired in shit.

I had a little ESP going on before the axe dropped on my head last week, and I've been very proactive, so much that I had already set up a meeting with one of the execs at my old college. He met with me on Monday for what I thought was a potential freelance job. It was... sort of. While he does not make the final decisions, he said he wanted to meet with me, discuss my qualifications and look through my work so he could personally recommend me to the people who do make the final decision.

I was disappointed for a minute until I realized the ramifications: to have the vice president of academics of a major, ground-breaking college on your side and willing to back you is big. Universe big. And while I still crave human interaction, that act of contacting me and setting up a meeting, let alone backing me is huge. It makes me feel like I have a heavyweight in my corner looking out for me.

He's not the only one. The Man's brother has mentioned a contract position. I'm not sure if it's in communications or even the duties it entails but again hope is there. I can count on my fingers, toes and other body parts the friends who have passed onto me information on potential jobs and offered to hand my resume to potential bosses. My mentor Nancy continues to feed me details on upcoming jobs and my first college instructor has offered to look over my  resume and feed me a list of his contacts who may or may not be hiring. Every little bit helps and I'm thankful to everyone for their advice, feedback and well wishes.

I would be lying to say that I'm always this hopeful. It changes every day, every hour and sometimes in minutes. I'm trying to take it one step at a time and I've devoted about five hours every day to searching and applying for positions. At times, I'm working blind and operating on blind faith that all of my little blocks will fall into place, and when I least expect it. At least that's what I'm hoping.

A friend of mine has said to sit back and enjoy the time now, to work on finding myself, on reworking my resume and discovering where I'd like to be rather than to panic and accept the first job that comes my way. I'm taking this advice too and I'm still nervous.

Tomorrow will see me search again but I'll also take time to visit friends, to take my mind off of my search and the fact that I don't have to get up and go into work at Cell Block C. I don't miss the place. I don't miss the owners' attitudes. I do miss the person I used to be before I started work there - the confident person who laughed at my own jokes and looked at each duty as a chance to prove myself, to myself. It's amazing to see how many people in my corner still have that faith when mine has wandered off.


  1. Your friend is right - you may not have a break like this for a long time. Use it wisely. And take the time to figure out your dream job/situation so you know what you want to work towards. It's sort of like coming out of a bad relationship - you have all the clarity about things you don't want, so you can work on finding exactly what you do want.

  2. Just catching up on blogs -- this sounds like a good thing! A fresh start and much needed time off. I hope you are embracing it fully!

  3. I'm trying to embrace it fully. I have my ups and downs. And yes, it's like leaving a bad relationship and I'm going through all sorts of emotions that I'm trying to figure out. Mel and Libby, thanks for the comments, advice and cheerleading! You both rock!