It's Saturday afternoon like many Saturday afternoons, except this Saturday I am a little less. A little less, you ask? A little less inclined to pick up that bag of chips, a little less likely to forget to eat, a little less. There's also a little less of me, five per cent, to be exact.
I went to WeightWatchers this morning like I do most Saturday mornings. You know how some days you can feel that you're a little lighter than before? Than the night before, than the day before or the week before. I didn't have that feeling this morning. I know the feeling well. In the last few weeks when I've had my biggest losses, I felt just a little lighter. Whether there was a spring in my step or I was wearing baggy clothes, it could be anything. This morning, I didn't have it. A few days before the circus sets up the big tent and the clowns are coming out of the Volkswagen, juggling of course, I tend to gain. It maybe water gain, it may not. It could be the weight of all of those juggling pins or the balloons the clowns love so much. This morning, I stepped on the scale, a rather exact one, and the numbers rang out and danced in the air. Down 3.6 lbs. In one week. I was estatic, and yes, I was lighter.
My total is now almost 13 lbs. That's 13 lbs. of being diligent of what I eat and when. I didn't get fat overnight. It's been a long history of eating good food but not nearly enough. I didn't get fat by eating. I got fat by not eating and then getting so hungry that my choices were not pristine. They're still not pristine but educated. Do I really want that piece of birthday cake? This week, I opted for a slice. It was enough and I was enough, enough to warrant the extra effort I put into the whole process.
I've lost weight before and kept it off for a long period of time. What make me backtrack was personal, a personal loss, a personal affront. I explained a bit in a previous post. You can read it here. All it took was a comment, a retaliation for someone else's insecurities and my own insecurities and doubt rose from the ashes, ashes I thought were cleaned up a long time ago. They were just dormant, not dealt with. It's different now. I'm a bit more accepting of myself and discovering why those insecurities exist in the first place.
It's not an easy task. It's a work in progress - I'm a work in progress, but the journey is worth it. I'm sure I'll have my off-days. I already have, yet this time I don't let it go past that day, and I'll look at the reasons why the funk happened in the first place.
So what is that five per cent all about? I'm down five per cent of my weight. It's another step in the process, a milestone. And, now it's onto another milestone - the 10 per cent mark. This is the milestone where you see the most significant changes, health wise. I've already felt the benefit, and I'm looking for more.
Five per cent, bloggers. Five per cent feels good.