Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The clowns are juggling!

My friend Anasatan describes her monthly "gift" as a traveling circus that has set up inside her uterus. Then we both look at each other, pretend to juggle ('cause I suck at it and there would be casualties if I actually juggled for reals) and hum the circus song. You know, the clown song where they all get out of an incredibly small Volkswagon Bug, juggling of course.

I am sad to say that the circus has pulled in and the main tent is now being erected (and nothing else) less than two days before I have to spend six to seven hours on a plane with the smallest bathrooms on the planet. I also have to make room for tampons, sanitary napkins and feminine wipes in my carry-on, my purse AND my suitcase. As if I didn't have anything else to pack!

Now I know what you're thining... "didn't you time this? Wouldn't you know EXACTLY when your period would come and prepare accordingly?" Yes and no. I had hoped it would come last week when it was expected, but I've never been a by-the-book type of girl. Even my reproductive system is a procrastinator.

I just hope the clowns don't get too out of hand. They're wily like that. Those damn ass clowns!


  1. Damnt those ass clowns to hell!!

    I went to Jamaica years ago and tried to play with my birth control so it wouldn't come, but it still did. No matter what I do, the 'circus' comes to town on vacations. If it's been on time for months, it'll go off-schedule just to come along on my trips. Bastard!

  2. I did that when I went to the Dominican a couple of years ago. Not only did I have my period, but I had the Puerta Plata Splatta!

  3. That clown picture scares the hell out of me.

  4. I chose it just for that, Chrissy. Clowns freak me the hell out! Always have. This one guy at a Halloween pub crawl decided a clown costume would win over the ladies. Damn, he was soooo wrong!

  5. #1 I was fives months pregnant with my first son before I realized I was missing my "Aunt Flo"

    #2 Have you ever accidently put two tampons in? I was talking to freinds last night and they thought I was crazy/disgusting.

  6. Scribe,
    Hope the vacation is going great.

    When you get back, scroll to August 19th. I have an award for you on my blog.

  7. Sharon - I have and I was thoroughly disgusted with myself for forgetting. Thank god there was no more room for that tampon to go, otherwise it would be a trip to the hospital. On another note, a friend of mine got a condom stuck up in the nether-regions and had to have it removed by a really cute intern.

    Akilah - cool thanks! I just got back on Friday morning after over 24 hours of travel. While I liked being on firm ground, I still miss the pints at the pub. God, I'm a lush!

  8. Haaa! My sis got to insert a catheter into the penis of a really hot guy.

    Welcome back! Rest up and we'll see you soon.

  9. I want to punch a clown in the throat...