Things for which I am thankful

It’s bright and sunny and although it’s a cold February day, I am happy. Happier today than I have been in a while. The reason: who knows, but I’ll take it.

This makes me smile... 

 

... And this does too.**

To commemorate this happy day, here is a list of things that made me smile today (and there’s a
lot of them!):

 

1. A lady crossed the road today while I was stopped at an intersection. She wore leopard print gloves and a smile as she strode across the street with purpose. A purpose with a smile: a lesson learned.
2. A new-style police car complete with non-descript markings to alert the driving public that it was, in fact, a police car. Talk about sneaky! Who did they think they would fool? Not this fool, that’s for certain!
3. Hitting every green light on the way to work and beating the boss in. That almost never happens.
4. Having someone tell me I look thinner in the face and that my almost 7-lb. weight loss to date is becoming noticeable. Just think what 20 lbs. will be like!?!
5. Stepping up and stepping out to go dancing on Saturday night and realizing how much I missed it.
6. Good friends and not just those who pay lip service and tell you what you want to hear. Want to know the lowdown? Just ask Anasatan and Mags. They’ll boost you up but also get your head out of the clouds, all with a gushy, love-filled centre. Oh, and a “Quack, Quack, Muthafuka.”
7. Knowing I don’t have to wake up early on Monday morning. It’s the provincial PD-Day – you may know it as “Family Day” or as my U.S.-made calendar calls it “Heritage Day.”
8. Donning a “meh, whatever” attitude upon hearing my boss had a hissy fit over something I may or may not have done. I have no clue so I’m feigning ignorance, and it’s bliss.
9. Knowing that the New Year marks a new beginning and a forward look to the future of what I want to do and not what others see fit for me. Quack, Quack, Muthafuka.
10. A clean house and a light mind. Yes, it’s all light and sunshine in the Scribe household (we can actually see out of the windows now that they no longer have nose prints on them… and they’re not mine!).

 

Okay, that’s the list, but there are others I just can’t think of right now. I’m working on making this mood last. Some say exercise is the key. I think it’s forgiveness and a sometimes swift kick up the rear.

 

Quack, Quack Muthafuka.

 

** Chaplin image "borrowed" by Stephen E. Wise, visionary artist. Visit him at www.stephenewise.com.
It's worth a look!

 

The Reiki Experiment

I’ve been experimenting as of late. While there’s no need to wear surgical masks or a HASMAC suit, there may be an occasion to wear a robe. White, black, pink… choose whatever colour tickles your fancy or any other part of your body (for which I am not responsible).


A few months ago I had an epiphany while visiting my Ranger friend. She’d just come back from six months in India, a combination of work and travel, and she’d come back refreshed, recharged and reinvigorated with love for the whole planet. And, she wants to save it one person, one molecule at a time. I’d gone over to find out more about her travels (I followed her journey on FB), and I also wanted to hear about a new venture she’d started – as a Reiki practitioner. I made the mistake of referring to her as a Reiki master. No, I was told, “not master yet. I’m still in super-sponge mode.” And so was I.

I was an energy sponge. Apparently, I didn’t have enough of my own so I had to rely on hers, steal, if you will.

For those who don’t know what Reiki is, it’s something called “healing hands” where your Reiki practitioner (some are even masters) will guide you through a healing process, to open yourself up to your inner eye using their own energy and healing transferred to you through their hands. What you see/experience during this process is totally up to you and your own psyche. Me, it took me to a place where I felt like a trespasser at first. Many minutes and quite a few tears later, I felt at peace.

It’s healing by the placing of hands, and it’s not as kinky as you think. Look at it as a massage for your soul. With her hand on my lower back and one on my head, Ranger transferred her energy to me, and with it, my mind went on a trip. The third eye thing? It really works.

I was transformed. Apparently, I had been carrying a whole load of guilt around for the past 10 years. Now, I’ve had a lot of guilt in my life. Have you met my mother? But this was guilt I didn’t even know I had and I had to ask forgiveness.

My mother-in-law died over 10 years ago of pancreatic cancer. She fought valiantly and managed to make it to our wedding in November (she was diagnosed in July). I loved her; sometimes I’m remiss to admit, more than my own mother. She also loved me, unconditionally and for that I am grateful and blessed.

She died in March of the following year and about a year-and-a-half later, so did my marriage, and that was the guilt I was carrying. I’m not going to go into detail of my divorce – where the fault lay and so on – because there’s responsibility on both sides. What I will say is that I felt horrible for walking out, not for my ex-husband, but for my mother-in-law because I felt I had betrayed her. I had hurt her only son not long after she had to leave. I had been subconsciously punishing myself.

Through Reiki and using Ranger’s energy, I had taken a journey in my mind, over hills and through forests to visit my mother-in-law and the whole judge and jury, only to feel love and forgiveness, the unconditional love she gave so freely in life.

Whether I was making it up or not (at first I felt like a fraud, searching for images to appease the master), I did take a journey that led me to feelings of forgiveness and light that filled my heart for almost a week.

Hoax or not, Ranger’s Reiki are definitely top on my list for things to try (and try again) in 2010.

Channeling my inner stalker

Now before you get out the restraining orders, I must explain. Let me explain. I don't stalk people. I stalk blogs, so it's not as criminal as you may first think. I confess I haven't updated my blog lately (100 lashings with a spaghetti noodle, I know) because I've been too engrossed in what others have to write.

I spent the last two days stalking a sandwich, an Earwig Sandwich, or more specifically a blog entitled Earwig Sandwich that I stumbled upon from another one of my victims. It sounds so forbidding. Victims. Yet, that's how I feel when I sign into Blogger and notice one of my favourites has a new entry. I am overcome with giddiness. Giddy-up.

I've been channelling my inner stalker with Earwig Sandwich over the last two days. I've forbidden myself to read the latest entries before I update myself on the blog from its inception. The author, a chef-cum-filmmaker, has a unique take on blogging. She entertains her followers, her fans, with tales of her one project in particular, making a film on the lives of insects. It's not something I'm usually interested in. I spend a lot of time trying to keep insects out of my house and my hair. Wasps in particular as they have run (or flown) rampantly through my garden oasis over the summer. My boxer Kao has tried to eat a few and I've tried to hit them and maim them, anything to get them away from me and my tasty skin.

Earwig Sandwich attracted me by its name alone. Who in the hell would eat an earwig sandwich, let alone write about it. Two entries in and I was hooked. The blog does not soley talk about the intricacies of filming insects in their natural habitat. Of course, there are entries like that, but mixed in are little glimpses into the life that her and her director-husband have established in a small town in France. I don't know where the town is, but I feel like I know all of its inhabitants. I learned about their search for a house, a location in which to shoot, write and edit the film. I read in earnest the pains they took to tuck themselves into the small town and the lives of its inhabitants. And, I realized that this lifestyle, the interwoven patchwork is what enthralls me. It's a life that holds my interest and perhaps it's what I was meant to do. I like people. I find them fascinating. And, if a blog could hold my interest for days on days, it's how I would like others to find Scribing Life. Now I have to find my angle.

Earwig Sandwich has its angle already - the lives of insects and in that, the lives of the townsfolk, and I can't even describe the effect it's had on me. Besides the fact that I have succumbed to stalking even more, it's made me question what I'm doing here and where I'd like to be. I've been asking that question a lot lately. I guess it's sole-searching in a way. What do I want? Where do I want to be? All the age-old questions. As my old, dear friend Bono sings "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" and I'm not sure if I ever will. As humans we're always in a state of self-discovery and learning and that is something that will never change. It's just channelling that self-discovery and creating a list of the things that hold our interest for more than five minutes.

My list is long and varied, like the jack-of-all-trades that I have sprouted into. In my long and varied life, I've been smitten more than a few times: writer (that's been on my list since I could hold a pencil), boxer (and not the canine kind), dragon-boater, singer, dancer, squash and tennis player, painter. There will be more, but as of late, I've been at a standstill. I haven't had that epiphany that says "Eureka, that's my next project, my next love."

Earwig lady had hers, and it probably won't be her last. She moved house from the UK to France and exchanged her culinary career for the life of a filmmaker. She mastered the life exchange too - trading a more urban lifestyle for one more relaxed, and that's appealing. At least it is to me. An afternoon of cards at the pub with the locals? Deal me a hand. Organizing dinner parties underneath the canopy of the lime trees on her rented Lovely House? Oh hell yes. Making new friends and connections in a town that doesn't take outsiders very easily? It sounds divine.

And that my friends is why I'm a little introspective this evening. Coming away from reading seven months of entries and I was relaxed, rejuvenated and realizing that maybe a change like that is what I need. I don't know where, why or how yet. Or even what. But I know that if reading about new interests like that left me in a state of serenity, then that is what I need.

Now to find my own serenity base and stop reading and salivating over others. Wish me luck and much speed.