Last night, I did a bread and milk run on my way home from Cell Block C. While I ended up getting the provisions for the morning, I did put another item in my cart and it got me oinking, laughing and causing at least one cashier and a patron to blush.
As usual, I was multitasking, talking to Anasatan on the phone, perusing the aisles and calculating my potential bill in my head. That's when I spotted it. It was full and pink with flowers on its belly. It was the perfect replacement for the rubber chicken.
The Shoppers' Drug Mart by my house put in a new section geared to the new generation of pet owners who treat their canines and felines like their own children. I know I do. I approached with pure giddiness. I wanted to touch it and squeeze it. I was overcome and let out a laugh when Anasatan asked if there were any ducks in the store. There weren't. Only pigs, in particular, one pink rubber pig. I squeezed it over and over again, and I laughed. Anasatan laughed and called me out on my freakishness. I thought it was all sorts of awesome and quickly put the said pig into the basket.
Anasatan, exasperated with all of the oinking (mine and the pigs), had hung up, so I made my way to the checkout reveling in my find. "Isn't this awesome," I asked the cashier, pointing to the pig.
"Oh, it's for a dog..." he answered. Why else would I buy a rubber pig, I thought. And then, before thinking how it might sound to the other patrons, I said something that would be considered a little risque in any other situation... "You can squeeze it if you like..."
The man behind me in the line took a double-take and started to laugh. I started to laugh, making it hard to see the numbers I was attempting to punch into the debit card machine. I laughed louder as the cashier (a male cashier at that) reached over and squeezed. The pig must have liked it too since he didn't oink as loud for me when I squeezed him.
So my house is now a barnyard as Boyo the Boxer goes between the pig and chicken. I just hope the goat is available soon to make our farm complete.