Sunday, May 30, 2010

Happy Anniversary, Muthafucka

This year, the parental units, June and Ward Cleaver, will celebrate 50 years of wedded bliss. Or, at least 50 years of my father saying "Yes, dear" and my mother commenting on the state of the dust in the house and how us kids never call, never write. I don't know how they did it but kudos to them, especially when I know how hard it is to keep everything fresh for even a year let alone 50.

This month, I celebrated an anniversary of my own. It's been a year of blogging, of letting the internets into my life and allowing a glimpse of the inner workings of the Scribe. There have been childhood memories, rants and celebrations. There has also been a lot of self discovery. I discovered that I'm not perfect. I discovered that I'm not in the place I want to be and now it's time to make my move.

The first step was to recognize what I could and couldn't control and to put those "basketballs" into the two baskets. Lately, there have been many basketballs all over the place and not in their rightful place. I couldn't control whether my Gusafus lived and died. I could control how I would say goodbye to him and how I could honour him by doing what I could. I have no regrets. The other was the job. It's gotten worse, so bad that I had an all-out cry today, for the desperation of it all and for my part in it. And then I kicked myself and booted myself out of the house and into the embrace of a really good friend who understands lists, baskets and working one step at a time.

FYI, this past Friday I got some news on the work front. No, it's not the second interview that I'm STILL waiting for. This news came from my present job. The good news: In the next two months, I will no longer work for the douchebag of a control freak salesperson who takes condescention (is that spelled right?) to a new level. But, while I will be getting new salespeople to help, the boss informed me that his yelling is justified considering the mistakes I've made on past orders and my attitude towards the douche-canoe. Okay, so my attitude is not great but there's only so much I can take.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a new lease - a slate wiped clean (or is that whipped?). It will be in more ways than the one to which my boss referred. While I will come in with a more confident and assured attitude, I will also work towards bettering myself inside and out. Tomorrow, I will venture to my first yoga class in about two years to de-stress and turn inward to calm the thoughts (read voices) in my head. I will also think positive about the possibility of that second job interview and explore other options so I don't have to stay where I am ultimately not wanted. I will work only my allotted hours and work as efficiently as possible.

Wish me luck, bloggers and Happy Anniversary. It's been a year of changes and honesty. Here's to another year of continued growth. I'm glad I have you on my side.


  1. Congrats on your one year anniversary. That is wonderful. I've been doing this a few months and I understand the part about self discovery. My main point now is I'm making memories for my kids.

    I hope things work out on the job front. It sucks having to be somewhere you don't want to be but worse, where you feel you are not wanted. :-(

  2. Thanks pegbur7. I'm going right over and checking your blog!

  3. Congratulations! Wow!. And good luck with the 2nd interview.

  4. I'm keeping my fingers crossed too. I gotta get outta this place!!!

  5. I certainly do wish you luck, and congrats on one year. I so hope you get a new job!!

  6. Thanks Aunt! Can you cross your eyes for me too? But not your legs... that would be too much to ask given your hookerish tendencies! ;)